A Son’s Tribute to His Father

Yesterday I sat in the front row at the funeral for Jay Goldsmith, an old fisherman friend. After the solemn readings by the Rabbi and a few candid eulogies by friends and family, Jay’s son David rose to speak about his father.He talked about a particular trip they took together to Iceland, a place that Jay and I had fished together many times over a period of 40 years. Jay was devoted to the pursuit of Atlantic salmon, but of all the countries we visited together – England, Eastern Europe, out west in the U.S. and Canada – Iceland was his favorite.I gained some insight as to why this was so at the funeral.His son talked about how Iceland was the perfect fishing venue for his father—far enough away that he could not be called in on an emergency, and a place where his guide, like a brother, looked after him and found the best fishing sites where catching was guaranteed.And, he loved the Icelandic food.But most tellingly, David revealed that it was in Iceland that he and his father bonded on several solo trips, and where, on one of them, the last, he opened up to his father about his true feelings about fishing.He didn’t really care for it. The clarity and forthrightness of a son explaining to his father how he felt, despite his father’s enthusiasm for the sport and their many trips together, cleared the runway for future candid conversations.It led to a more open relationship and an honest discourse between them that hadn’t existed before, bringing them much closer. It made for a heartfelt eulogy by the son of a great father, who gently and thoughtfully guided his son through the ups and downs of his youth and through his adult life and career.